Peevish Pessimists

Ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Well, these guys woke up on the wrong side of life. They’re grumpy, grouchy and outright rude, but (somehow) they manage to be loveable anyway. Maybe it’s because they say what we’re all thinking–or, they just don’t have that filter (or self-censorship) like the rest of us. While “curmudgeon” usually describes men, some women can be downright dour as well. We celebrate the crustiest of them all by highlighting some of TV’s most notorious naysayers.

Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)

The director of Pawnee Parks and Rec department may not have time for your bull, but he’s got all the energy in the world for breakfast meat. If it’s on the bone or made of bacon, stay outta his way. This rugged, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps curmudgeon kept a shotgun on his desk and worshipped author Ayn Rand. Ironically, he was immune to the irony of a small-government fanatic working for a government bureaucracy, but his cutting wit and eminently quotable sayings made him a fan favorite on the NBC show.

Marty Crane (Frasier)

What is it with crotchety men and crappy armchairs? When a bullet wound left Seattle’s most peevish former detective Marty Crane (John Mahoney) with a limp and a cane, he was forced to move in with his son Frasier (Kelsey Grammer), the two men clashed on everything from Ballantine beer vs. pinot grigio, baseball vs. opera, sleek sofas vs. clashing chairs. Sharing Frasier’s swanky apartment proved a big adjustment for the wildly different men… especially when Frasier tried to ditch Marty’s moth-eaten recliner.

Sophia Petrillo (Golden Girls)

Sophia (Estelle Getty), a Sicilian immigrant by way of Brooklyn, was never afraid to let anyone know when they were being a dope. Since a stroke left her without the part of the brain that handled tact, she often felt free to sling insults far and wide. If they hadn’t been so hilarious, the gals might have put her back in the retirement home that daughter Dorothy (Bea Arthur) rescued her from. Thankfully, audiences got to watch the grumpy lady’s gleeful, rapid-fire zingers for 10 years of the classic series.

Galina “Red” Reznikov (Orange Is the New Black)

“Red” (Kate Mulgrew) gives the boys a run for their money in Netflix’s original series. Ruling the prison kitchen with an iron fist and spiky (dyed) red hair, this Russian termagant has a softer side she shows only to her close friends. Once you’re under her wing, she’ll fight like a mama bear for you, but get on her bad side and… well, don’t eat the food.

Dr. Gregory House (House)

House (Hugh Laurie), might save your life with his brilliant diagnoses, but he’d make you wish you’d never been born before he was done with you. House seemed to loathe all his patients and everyone else at fictional Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, except for his friend Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard), whom he tormented in a twisted show of affection. The egotistical doc also played pranks and pitted his team against one another in ways that were anything but funny except to himself. And over eight seasons, audiences tuned in less for his brains than for his shocking behavior, which could only be (partially) explained by the constant pain he suffered from a poorly healed leg wound.

Red Forman (That ’70s Show)

“Hey, dumbass!” How’s that for greeting one’s own son? If you’re Red Forman (Kurtwood Smith), it’s a given. The snide, plain-speaking dad always felt the need to keep son Eric (Topher Grace) from getting too lovey-dovey by reminding him constantly of his hard-ass toughness. A Navy veteran, Red saw the disco world of the ‘70s as an affront to America’s greatness, and he hated letting anyone see his softer side—though occasionally his pride did leak out, like when Eric and Donna (Laura Prepon) got engaged.

“Monty” Burns (The Simpsons)

Though Moe the bartender could give him a run for his money, Charles Montgomery “Monty” Burns (voiced by Harry Shearer) wins the award for nastiest man on The Simpsons. Stingy, self-interested and criminally negligent in maintaining the nuclear power plant that provides much of his wealth, the richest man in Springfield couldn’t care less who he steps on so long as he gets his way. Older than dirt and prone to “releasing the hounds” on unsuspecting intruders, Mr. Burns makes a great foil for hapless Homer, and he’s the guy you love to hate—especially when he’s bossing poor Smithers around.

Waldorf and Statler (The Muppets)

Waldorf and Statler, named for two famous old New York City hotels, are snide, snarky and quick to criticize everyone. Whether it’s from balcony seats high above a theater stage or sitting in the front row, these old geezers lord it over their fellow puppets—but it’s impossible to keep from cracking up at their well-timed witticisms.

Oscar the Grouch (Sesame Street)

Oscar the Grouch makes his home in a trash can, and unlike Sesame Street’s other mostly cheerful residents, he only loves one thing… trash. He’s even got a song about it, aptly called “I love trash,” and another of his favorite songs is, “I’m happy when I’m sad.” As his name suggests, the Grouch has a real knack for looking at the negative in every situation, but even though he’d never admit it, he does have a real soft spot for Maria.

Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple)

In Neil Simon’s play turned ‘70s TV series, sportswriter Oscar Madison (Jack Klugman) terrorized uptight new roommate Felix Unger (Tony Randall) with more than just his slovenly habits—he was gruff, nasty and full of complaints. This uber-curmudgeon hated being policed by Felix and was perfectly happy to stay a divorced, beer-swilling, cigar-smoking slob forever. In the end, however, friendship still won out over smelly socks. In 2015, the series was even remade with Matthew Perry (Friends) as Oscar.

Archie Bunker (All in the Family)

From his saggy old armchair, Archie Bunker (Carroll O’Connor) ruled the roost, doling out abuse, bigotry and reluctant affection to the entire family, especially his son-in-law Michael (Rob Reiner), whom he loved to call “Meathead.” Bossing poor Edith around and sending her scurrying to get him another beer, cigar-smoking Archie was the epitome of an aging patriarch uncomfortable with a changing world in this ‘70s series. But underneath it all, Bunker had a heart of gold—even if one often needed a magnifying glass to see it.

Andy Rooney (60 Minutes)

Who needs fictional curmudgeons when you’ve got a real-life one in Andy Rooney? For over 30 years, this veteran TV writer and journalist held forth from his desk, sharing his astute (if disgruntled) observations on every aspect of modern life in “A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney” on CBS’s 60 Minutes. His commentary was biting, funny and always on point, and as fellow newsman Morley Safer put it, “He had an axe to grind about almost everything.”

Back to the Future

You don’t always need a time machine to travel back and forth through time (or space), as some seasoned time jumpers on TV have shown. But a few things remain consistent: the physical, mental and emotional toll of landing in a period (and place) completely out of sync with everything that’s familiar, and the strong desire to alter any timeline for the better. With the time travel-focused DC’s Legends of Tomorrow debuting on Thursday, Jan. 21, we’re taking a look at some of TV’s most intriguing chrononauts.

Rip Hunter (DC’s Legends of Tomorrow)

In DC Comics’ highly anticipated new series, Legends of Tomorrow, Rip Hunter’s (Arthur Darvill) travels back in time with one mission: to recruit the biggest badasses of all time to help save the world—and time itself—from annihilation by immortal villain Vandal Savage (Casper Crump). And with a time machine on his side, Rip and his motley crew of heroes and rogues, all first seen on The Flash and Arrow, eventually time travel together to stop Savage.

Doctor Who (Doctor Who)

Twelve regenerations. Twelve actors. And an itinerary that takes him from the beginning to the end of time and space itself. Since 1963, the Time Lord known only as the Doctor has traveled the TV universe alongside his companions (usually attractive young women) while saving humanity and fighting foes such as the Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels and The Master (AKA Missy in more recent incarnations). Of course, he couldn’t do any of it without his trusty TARDIS.

Claire Randall (Outlander)

In Diana Gabaldon’s beloved romance series turned TV hit, Claire Randall Fraser (Caitriona Balfe), a former WWII combat nurse on honeymoon in Scotland with her husband Frank, comes in contact with an ancient standing stone that catapults her back in time 200 years to the same place…and into the arms of Jamie Fraser (Sam Heughan), the highlander whose barbarian charms she cannot resist. Torn between the love of two good men in two very different time periods, Claire fights to get back (well, forward) to the man she married. Only, her heart says, stay.

Barry Allen (The Flash)

Einstein theorized that going at a fast enough speed could lead to traveling through time and space. Barry Allen (Grant Gustin), the fastest man alive, manages to do just that in the show’s first season when he traveled back in time. Doing so leads to a tough decision: should he go back in time again, to the day his mother was murdered, and try to save her (no matter what consequences that would cause)? In the second season, during the Flash-Arrow crossover, Barry time travels backward again when he got a second chance to take down Vandal Savage.

James Cole (12 Monkeys)

In this small-screen adaptation of the 1995 movie Twelve Monkeys, James Cole (Aaron Stanford) has grown up in a world ravaged by a deadly plague. Humanity’s only hope is for him to “splinter” in time (via a special serum and machine) to right the wrongs that caused the world’s destruction. The trouble is finding, and changing, the exact moments that set off a negative chain of events. Despite his heroic efforts, Cole has trouble altering the future for the better, and each journey through time (to and from 2043) takes a toll on his health…as well as the time stream.

Ichabod Crane and Abbie Mills (Sleepy Hollow)

Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison) had plenty to deal with during the Revolutionary War, but waking up centuries later (in a very well-preserved state) to a world where muskets have been replaced with automatic weapons and women have gone from corsets to cop uniforms is a pretty big change. Fortunately, current FBI agent and fellow Witness Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) shows him the ropes of modern life. Yet neither of them could have dreamed that Abbie herself would eventually use a magic spell to travel back in time to stop the Headless Horseman and Katrina (Katia Winter) from killing the 1781 version of Crane.

Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)

In this classic ’90s show, physicist Sam Beckett (Scott Bacula) was the ultimate quick thinker. After an experiment went haywire, he catapulted through time, waking up with a new face—and with a new mission—in every episode. With helpful hints from a hologram called the Observer (a cigar-chomping Dean Stockwell), Beckett used a Quantum Leap Accelerator to jump from case to case, and body to body, to correct mistakes that jeopardized history and improvise help to those whose lives he inhabited.

Kiera Cameron (Continuum)

A cop from a future where technology does all the heavy lifting is suddenly thrust back in time to a world where she’s only got her instincts to trust. Kiera Cameron (Rachel Nichols), who left her husband and young child in 2077, becomes trapped in present-day Vancouver with a group of fanatics who call themselves Liber8. The terrorists want to change the future… which means she could lose everyone she’s ever loved. Of course, she’ll do whatever it takes to stop them, even if it means teaming up with the very genius whose tech corporation made the future such a dangerous place.

The Enterprise Crew (Star Trek)

With a universe as vast as ours, one is bound to run into some strange phenomena—including, apparently, oneself! The crew of Star Trek (as well as spinoffs The Next Generation, Voyager, Enterprise, and Deep Space Nine­), ran into earlier versions of themselves several times. Whether through temporal vortexes, wormholes or slingshot effects (or the power of Q, in The Next Generation), time travel was a staple of this beloved franchise, even if the prime directive was not to alter anyone’s destiny. Well, it’s more of a suggestion than a directive, right?

Jack (Samurai Jack)

The Cartoon Network’s groundbreaking animated series sees evil wizard named Aku sending a young prince and samurai, who’s eventually called “Jack,” hurtling forward in time. There, Jack finds a wildly futuristic world controlled by the shape-shifting wizard’s evil. But with his magical katana, Jack fights toward a time portal to return to the past and reverse the wizard’s destruction.

Sarah and John Connor (Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles)

When machines rise up, human beings don’t stand a chance… unless they can prevent the takeover from happening in the first place. The Sarah Connor Chronicles took up where the movie Terminator 2 left off, focusing on Sarah’s (Lena Headey) efforts to keep her son, John (Thomas Dekker), from being killed by Skynet agents sent back in time, including the T-888 Cromartie (Garet Dillahunt). In order to give her son a fighting chance, Sarah and John time travel to 2007 (from 1999), with another Terminator, a T-800 named Cameron (Summer Glau), who has also been sent back from the future to protect—not kill—John.

Alistair Peck (Fringe)

Alternate realities and time paradoxes were the norm in creator J.J. Abrams’s hit series Fringe. Father and son Walter and Peter Bishop (John Noble and Joshua Jackson) were no strangers to weird science, but the Season 2 episode “White Tulip” took things to a whole new level when scientist Alistair Peck (Peter Weller) managed to create a time machine—in his own body (hence the crazy-looking “scars”)—to save his beloved wife from death. Problem was, too many others had to die to achieve his goal….

Professor Nick Cutter (Primeval)

While many shows featured characters going back in time, few ventured quite as far back in time as the UK cast of ITV’s Primeval. When inexplicable anomalies started opening portals in the past, what came out to terrorize Britain were fearsome primordial monsters. Professor Nick Cutter (Douglas Henshall) and his team were tasked with the challenge of capturing the fierce beasts during different time periods, but the mystery of his wife’s disappearance into the temporal rips was actually the greater challenge to solve.

Welcome Watering Holes

In life, some of our most memorable moments (and, let’s face it, some of the hardest to remember) happen in bars, whether it’s a cozy neighborhood haunt, a dive-y hole in the wall, or a club filled with cocktail lovers. And even your fave TV characters love frequenting local places with liquor licenses, so we rounded up nine fictional bars worth toasting to on TV. Let’s all raise a glass to these intoxicating taverns.

Cheers (Cheers)

It’s the quintessential bar where everyone knows your name—and your business. From Sam and Diane’s classic and turbulent romance to Carla the waitress’s biting wit to the banter of Cliff and Norm holding forth in their corner with a never-ending pint, all of life’s funniest and most poignant moments played out right there, beside the bowls of peanuts and cocktail napkins.

MacLaren’s Pub (How I Met Your Mother)

Based in part on a real NYC bar called McGee’s, where the show’s creators used to drink, and named for co-creator Carter Bays’ assistant Carl MacLaren, MacLaren’s Pub saw a lot of action over nine seasons. Not surprising since the apartment shared by Lily, Marshall and Ted was right upstairs! At the pub, Barney struck out with countless women, the whole gang got banned in an episode called “The Perfect Cocktail” and they even became bartenders (briefly) in “Three Days of Snow.”

Moe’s Tavern (The Simpsons)

A bar so dingy it’s never been cleaned… Moe’s Tavern is where you go to grab a pint of Duff’s, get caught up in illegal schemes or get a dose of owner Moe’s unsympathetic advice. Lenny, Carl and Barney round out the hard-luck types who frequent this dive, and Bart often dials in with a prank call, much to Moe’s chagrin. Fun fact: bands from Aerosmith to U2 to the Red Hot Chili Peppers have also played its tiny stage.

“Jake’s Bar” (New Girl)

When your roommate’s a bartender, you’ll probably wind up spending a fair bit of time in a bar. At least that’s what happens when Jess (Zooey Deschanel) moves in with three single dudes, including bartender Nick Miller (Jake Johnson). The unnamed watering hole is actually based in part on LA’s The Prince, which has been the inspiration for many a TV show pub.

Founding Fathers (Bones)

Where do you go to celebrate cracking a confounding case? For the Jeffersonian team, it’s the Founding Fathers. Dimly lit, classy and always ready to serve, could there be a better name for a D.C.-based bar? For Booth (David Boreanaz), Brennan (Emily Deschanel) and the rest of the quirky crime-fighting forensics crew, it’s a great place to cool off after putting a criminal on ice.

Paddy’s Pub (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

Located in “a scary alley in South Philly,” the always unsuccessful Paddy’s Pub is still going strong into its tenth season, despite the frequently despicable antics of its owners, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, Charlie and Frank (played by the inimitable Danny DeVito). “The gang,” as they’re known, epitomize cringe-humor that’s best washed down with strong spirits.

Black Eyes Bar (Undateable)

When you’re in your thirties and have a hard time hooking up, the Black Eyes Bar (frequently mispronounced with hilarious results) is the place to be. Although protagonist Danny Burton (Chris D’Elia) gets lots of ladies’ numbers, he has yet to make a relationship stick. Still, he’s miles ahead of his new roommate, bar owner Justin Kearney (Brent Morin) and Justin’s misfit friends. Our advice? Relax in those green leather booths, enjoy open mic night (with a cameo by Ed Sheeran), and grab another drink.

Verdant (Arrow)

A super cool superhero needs a super sleek lair, right? Oliver Queen, AKA the Green Arrow (Stephen Amell), sets his up in a convenient spot: at club Verdant, where he and his crew of crime fighters can keep an eye on all the action, and where his sister Thea (a badass heroine now in her own right, played by Willa Holland) manages to make far more than just a cover. The name Verdant (hint: it means green) doesn’t give it away, at least until Season 3 when they’re forced to abandon the hideout for—ahem—greener pastures.

Sweater Sadness

Ah, ugly Christmas sweaters. Whether it’s regrettable reindeer, glitter-bearded Santas or fuzzy snowflakes, these images are just some of the horrors that may assault your eyes all the way through the new year. Since there’s no getting away from all the woven wonders this holiday season, why not embrace the unforgettable ugliness by looking at some of our favorite eye-watering knits worn by TV characters? Here are 10 of the most cringe-worthy sweaters ever seen on TV.

Modern Family

Episode: “Undeck the Halls” (Season 1, Episode 10)

In this first Christmas episode, the Dunphy clan celebrate the holiday in all their dysfunctional glory by partaking in the annual tradition of, you guessed it, wearing ugly sweaters. The family gathers for a video message to appease grandma that, unfortunately, leads Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) to discover a strange burn mark on the couch.

Baby Daddy

Episode: “It’s a Wonderful Emma” (Season 4, Ep 2)

Christmas specials are a time-honored tradition on sitcoms, even when it’s all about the Scrooge factor. When too much holiday cheer sends Ben (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) over the edge, he ends up wishing away the entire holiday… and his child, Emma, in the process. Only by embracing the entire experience, ugly sweaters and all, does he make things right again.

Ugly Betty

Episode: “Fake Plastic Snow” (Season 1, Episode 10)

Betty Suarez (America Ferrara) was known for her quirky, mismatched fashion sense (as Mode Magazine coworkers constantly reminded her). But she outdid herself when it came to more abominable holiday attire, like the tacky snowman sweater she wore to the office party. At least the shocking red matched her glasses…and the string of lights paired smashingly with her braces, but the happiness was short-lived when Betty decided to leave Mode, and potential crush Henry, behind.

The Mindy Project

Episode: “Christmas Party Sex Trap” (Season 2, Episode 11)

Not even Morgan’s (Ike Barinholtz) ugly Christmas sweater can dampen the two great things that happen in this episode: a sultry rendition of “Santa Baby” by Maria Menounos (playing herself) and a hot dance to Aaliyah’s “Try Again” by Danny (Chris Messina) as part of Mindy’s Secret Santa gift.

The O.C.

Episode: “The Best Chrismukkah Ever” (Season 1, Episode 13)

Seth Cohen (Adam Brody) helped coin the term “Chrismukkah” and did us all a favor by rocking a truly fabulous blue holiday sweater to celebrate the mixed-heritage holiday that viewers have since come to enjoy. In Seth’s own words, here’s to “eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents!”

Community

Episode: “Regional Holiday Music” (Season 3, Episode 10)

The gang does a hilarious musical parody of another great show, Glee, when they fill in for a local glee club that’s gone off the rails. While everyone performs in holiday-themed attire, the full force of Christmas community doesn’t happen until the friends gather for festivities with some fluffy sweater action.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode: “A Very Sunny Christmas” (Season 6, Ep 13)

Skip the eggnog at Paddy’s Pub and shoot down some bourbon to make things seem a whole lot, well, sunnier. When the gang tries to rediscover the joy of Christmas, Mac (Rob McElhenney) and Charlie (Charlie Day) get into the holiday spirit by wearing the ugliest holiday tops possible. While Charlie opts for the requisite chunky sweater with a colorful cottage, Mac rips the sleeves off his “Noel” tee to give it a rock ‘n’ roll edge.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Episode: “Christmas Show” (Season 2, Episode 13)

Whether wearing sweaters folded over his shoulders or showcasing the full-on flavor of the week, Carlton seemed to have a closet full of hideous sweaters, as evidenced by the one he wore when the Banks family presents were stolen. Another highlight for the king of ugly sweaters? This ep saw the introduction of the “Carlton Dance.”

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Episode: “Pretty Ugly” (Season 9, Ep 4)

Leave it to a show that’s all about keeping up pretty appearances to do ugly really, really well. When housewife Danielle Gregorio gets the idea to host an “ugly sweater” holiday party to benefit a local charity, all the housewives compete for attention with their horrid attire. You can be sure that ugly was not limited to the clothing.

Arrow

Episode: “Dark Waters” (Season 4, Episode 9)

Who says ugly sweaters have to be reserved for Christmas? Felicity’s kooky mom, Donna (Charlotte Ross), brought much-needed comic relief when she decorated for an ill-advised holiday party by sneaking in some Hanukkah love…like this blue-and-white ode to the menorah that’s truly “dreidel-ful.”

Do or Dine

Spend most of your life sucking back cups of coffee or chowing on a cheeseburger? Your favorite TV characters do, too. From greasy spoons to glammed-up java shops, we take a look at nine (mostly) fictional coffee houses and diners that served as local gathering—and gabbing—spots on television.

Central Perk (Friends)

Though they were supposedly broke, the cast of Friends always had money to spend at Central Perk, their neighborhood coffee house. Crowded together on the orange velvet couch, constantly mocked by manager/barista Gunther, Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe found time between love crises to hang out at this Greenwich Village staple, where spoiled princess Rachel struggled to learn the ropes of waitressing. Memorably, Phoebe performed her original song “Smelly Cat” during open mic night at Central Perk… and our ears will never be the same.

The Double R Diner (Twin Peaks)

The Double R Diner: where the coffee is “damn fine” and the waitresses are finer, thanks to actress Mädchen Amick playing teenage dropout Shelly Johnson. Owner Norma Jennings (Peggy Lipton) may have a ne’er-do-well ex-con for a husband, but she’s also got the most hopping eatery in town. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) keeps Norma on her toes with her sticky pitch gum, and Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn) has been known to trance out to the tunes on the jukebox, but everyone in Twin Peaks loves the Double R. Even show creator David Lynch made a cameo appearance and swooned over the signature cherry pie in Season 2.

CC Jitters (The Flash)

You wouldn’t think a guy as speedy as the Flash—AKA Barry Allen (Grant Gustin)—would need a caffeine boost, but he and the rest of the S.T.A.R. Labs team spend a heck of a lot of time at CC Jitters. The huge, cathedral-like café is where they meet to blow off steam, plan strategies for overcoming the latest metahuman invasion and hang out with Felicity and Oliver during crossover episodes with Arrow. There’s even a drink named after the Flash…and you can bet it’ll give you a rush.

Luke’s Diner (Gilmore Girls)

Luke’s Diner is Stars Hollow’s source for comfort food, but don’t expect to get served if you use your cell phone, as the sign over the counter warns. Owner Luke Danes (Scott Patterson) inherited the place from his father (who ran it as a hardware store originally), and he’s got plenty of rules for how diners should behave…and he’s not shy about sharing them. But when it comes to Lorelei (Lauren Graham), he’s always got a soft spot—so much so that the two fell in love, and she eventually proposed to him.

Monk’s Café (Seinfeld)

Monk’s Café may be fictional, but it’s made real-life Tom’s Restaurant a tourist destination in New York’s Morningside Heights for decades since Seinfeld was filmed there (well, the exterior shots were). Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer slid into the booths for snarkery and witty zingers while scheming up ways to seduce new loves, get over on their bosses (in George and Elaine’s cases) and philosophize about the nature of life over a good chocolate babka (served elsewhere).

Café Grumpy (Girls)

On HBO’s hit series Girls, no one’s ever satisfied. Perhaps that’s why real-life Greenpoint, Brooklyn coffee house Café Grumpy, run in the series by Ray Ploshansky (Alex Karpovsky), is the perfect place for Hannah (Lena Dunham) to work—well, if you can call her half-assed efforts “work.” In real life, the chain is a bustling, vibrant coffee spot serving up every sort of espresso you could want, along with fresh pastries and a side of serious hipsterism.

Peach Pit (Beverly Hills 90210)

It may have taken place in the ‘90s, but the Peach Pit was a throwback to the fifties golden era of diners, complete with chrome fixtures and a kindly proprietor ready to give Brandon, Brenda, Dillon, Donna, Kelly, Steve and the rest some grown-up advice when their own dysfunctional parents weren’t around. In Season 5, to accommodate a more sophisticated Beverly Hills crowd, owner Nat Bussichio (Joe E. Tata) opened up the Peach Pit After Dark with help from Dylan (Luke Perry), and fashion shows and musical acts soon took center stage. Even a young Christina Aguilera performed there!

Williamsburg Diner (2 Broke Girls)

Don’t let the eye-watering waitress uniforms fool you: Max Black (Kat Dennings) and Caroline Channing (Beth Behrs) are two hot up-and-comers with big dreams of opening their own cupcake shop—even if they have to sling hash to front the cash. Despite being polar opposites, street-smart Max and trust-fund baby Caroline strike up a lasting friendship alongside fellow diner workers Oleg, Han and Earl. On the way to their dream, the girls even open a “cupcake walk-up window” at the diner for a bit.

Mel’s Diner (Alice)

Any roundup of iconic diners on TV wouldn’t be complete without a mention of Alice. This old ‘70s and ‘80s show revolved around Mel’s Diner, where the eponymous Alice (played by Linda Lavin) hustled around with a carafe of coffee permanently attached to her hand, while fellow waitresses Flo (with an impressive bouffant and gum-cracking sass) and ditzy Vera Louise kept the place running despite owner Mel’s constant complaints. Alice, an aspiring singer widowed with a teenage son, embodied the hardworking everywoman we can all admire, even when she’s down on her luck. It was Flo who stole the show though, with her signature line, “Kiss my grits!”